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I do all my best musings when I’m walking my dog; I say walk – I haven’t walked Reckless for several months now. With all the wet weather we’ve been having, we go for a slip, splosh, a wade or a waddle and I must confess to being thoroughly fed up with it.

It was on one such a wade that I was remembering back in the day when you actually had seasons. (You remember crisp, frosty, snowy winters – Halcyon, dreamy, sun-baked summers) and I came up with the fantastic idea of inventing a cloud hoover.

I’m not the first to contemplate this – People have been having a go at dispersing rain clouds since the 1950’s. For the 2008 Olympics, China had plans of using 30 aeroplanes, 4000 rocket launchers and 7000 anti-aircraft guns in an attempt to stop the rain – but a hoover would be a tad less drastic.

Imagine the possibilities - you’re planning a BBQ and the forecast is for rain; out comes the cloud hoover and “ta da!” sunshine all the way. Want a day’s tobogganing? No problem, simply vacuum up the rain-clouds, chill for half an hour, then blow them back out again. Got a noisy neighbour? Suck up a thunderstorm and then blow it down their chimney….

You could even get different makes and models: A little hand-held one for a slightly drizzly day, a cloud-Dyson for a downpour or an industrial one if you live in Manchester.

What to do with all the un-wanted cloud once you’ve finished? They’re all compressed into handy little bales that can be teleported to drought-hit areas of the globe for irrigation purposes. (And yes – I’ve invented a teleporter at the same time)


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